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Today has been interesting. My friend from the pueblo(town) came to see me. I'll call her Ana. I had been watering her plants for her while she was away this summer. She is always calling and and asking if I need anything and I always tell her that I have everything I need for now.
Well, I wanted to help make her feel useful and so I called her last night to see if she would drop by the store today for some ham and cheese. It's for Gaby since she arrives tomorrow. Right now ham and cheese are off limits for me! She was so happy to help and and so at 11:00am she arrives with a delivery. I paid her and then we sat and visited for an hour or so. I was arriving at my limit for being able to visit -- you know, with the kidney failing and all :) -- and then Ana said "would you like me to help you outside to sit in the sun a bit?" The truth is, it sounded great. It's harder and harder to walk further unattended, and so I took her up on her offer. We left the apartment and walked to the nearest bench in the sun. As we were walking along, I took in the irony of the situation: I, disciple of Jesus Christ, was walking arm in arm with an atheist. I hunger for God and she wants nothing to do with Him. She makes it very clear. As a matter of fact, she was thrilled because a friend of hers had given her a beautiful Catholic Bible as a gift! And I said "wow that's great!" and she was quick to remind me that she didn't care about it for religious reasons, but rather for the paintings done by Rembrandt all throughout the book. :) I offered to read it with her and we'll see what happens. Hopefully Gaby can step in and continue to water that seed. Ana has a lot of pain in her life, and I pray for her that one day she can know the freedom that there is in Christ. It would be a beautiful thing to be able to take a stroll with her throughout our pueblo one day, arm in arm, as sisters in Christ.
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Lord willing, my first full-time Venezuelan teammate will be arriving exactly one week from today. The joy in my heart is unexplainable. 4 years ago I remember feeling deep inside my soul that God wanted to me to raise a team of Venezuelans to serve outside of Venezuela, not knowing what that would look like. Do I get a team together first, Lord? Who? Do I go first and then see if anyone follows? That's weird, though. Isn't it , Lord?
I knew of one couple with the interest in working in Spain and of a single gal who always had the dream of studying in Spain since she was a little girl. But that was about it. I had an idea of who I might like on my team, but I hadn't even approached those people about going to Spain. So I just prayed and waited. Fast forward to September 2014: That couple? They have their letter of invitation to apply for a visa and hope to be in Spain by the end of the year. That girl? She had applied two times for a scholarship to do her Masters in Spain and was denied each time. When she surrendered that to God, he immediately granted her a visa to come to Spain and study for a year....to do HIS work. The transformation that God has made in her life and what God has used her to do in Venezuela has inspired me, and I hope to be able to labor with her for years to come as we seek to love others in Christ and spread the good news of His kingdom! She arrives in one week. It's a big day for Gabriela. It's a big day for Venezuela and the believers. It's a big day for me. It's a big day for Spain. And without a doubt it's a big day for God! What joy! Sigh. Two weeks from this moment I will be boarding a plane in Madrid, Spain, having already flown from Granada early that morning. My sister will be with me, as she will have traveled here to accompany me on the trip home. I need it. My body is weak. On the other end of those flights our parents will be there waiting for us. It will be a sad and joyous reunion. I feel bad for them. I've always been their sick kid. I feel bad for my siblings. My sisters and brother-in-law, too. They hurt deeply in all of this as well. And probably to a greater degree than they let me see. I hurt for my sweet sobrinos(nieces and nephews) -- what they know and what they do not know. Thank you, Lord, for my sweet family. From there all the appointments will begin, blood taken, tests run, trips made, etc. Will I have to start dialysis? Will I start to be in pain like before? Will I make it this time? What sorrow! Joy and Sorrow. Peace and Pain. Another post for another time. What's so different about one week to the next? For me...right now... it means everything. I kind of feel like I'm in a whirlwind. The kind that slams you back and forth and hits you from all sides and shows no mercy to anything in its sight.
Details. Flights. Can my sister make it to Spain help me travel back? Appointments. Blood levels. Money. Paperwork. Teammates arriving. Would that have salt in it? Revision of my Will. How can my teammates help? The right info to the right people. Cry time. Fatigue. Meds alone have a life: 1 pill 30 minutes before breakfast, 14 at breakfast, 3 at lunch, 1 at 3:30, 2 with supper, and 8 at night time. It's literally getting hard to swallow. I also feel like this whirlwind is relatively soothing, swishing me back and forth, gently inviting me to join in. Trust. Peace. Faith, not sight. Joy and Pain co-existing. To live is Christ, to die is gain. 10 years ago my kidneys failed. I was in a depression before that even happened, and it was a horrible experience. It was like being in a bubble and watching everyone outside trying to figure out how to help me, their mouths moving yet me not hearing. Most of the time I felt hopeless, lost, alone, despite the best efforts of those around me. I was scared to die but wanted to. This time my life is way different. I am no longer the same. I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me! I want to live out God's will for me in Christ Jesus, which is that I be thankful in all circumstances. I feel extremely connected to my family in Christ who suffers along with me and shares this burden. I need them. I trust Christ in them. And to those who are entering this whirlwind with me, thank you for your love. I'm sorry for the pain that this causes you as well....but I'm glad we're in it together! Well, just a few little announcements for ya'll.
1. I took off the password to the blog so that it would accessible to more people. Because of that, I have changed some names and took some stories out that were in previous posts for privacy purposes. 2. I started this blog to kind of keep an eye out for what Jesus is doing in Spain and document those things. I anticipated that being more along the lines of ministry activities and the like. It looks like it's turning a little more personal and so over the next several months this blog will go through several seasons of entries, I'm sure. Feel free to tune out at any time. ;) 3. My kidney is failing. My transplanted kidney that was so graciously given to me almost 9 years ago. For now, that's about all the information that I have. But another transplant is inevitable and so that's another reason for changing the blog up a bit. I am going to stop here. I am on heavy medication and have not slept all night. Maybe not the time to start a season of change. :) One Friday afternoon I was leaving Monachil in my car to go to a neighboring town to visit my friend, Sheri. I was praying in that very moment that I would be open to what the Holy Spirit was doing that I would be sensitive to His guidance. As I passed our little bus stop I see two young Asians reluctantly starting to walk up the hill that leaves our town. Figuring that they had missed the bus, I knew I had to stop. I said a quick prayer, rolled down my window and said "Les puedo dar la cola?" (can I give you a ride?) Them: Blank stares. Me: "A donde van?" (where are you going?) Them: Blank stares. Awkward 3 seconds of silence... The girl: "Granada?" Me: "Suben!" (get in!) Me: "Do you speak english?" Both the boy and girl: "YES!" Me: "How about we speak in english?" Laughs all around. That's how I met William and Jill, two students who came to Granada from Hong Kong to study spanish for a short time this summer. They themselves had just met here in Granada and were sightseeing in my little town of Monachil. I gave them a ride to Granada and learned a little about each of them on the way. They asked me what I did here in Spain. I asked them if they had heard of the Bible. They said they had. I explained that I believed in the God of the Bible and in His son Jesus. And that I came to Spain to tell the people who live here about His love for them. I explained a little about our center and what we provide. They didn't react much but we continued to talk and as we arrived in Granada they kept saying "You are so nice! I can't believe this! You are so nice!" I explained that it was a pleasure to meet them and that I hoped to see them again. William threw his head back on the headrest and said "the pleasure is ALL MINE! This is the best part of my journey so far. I can't wait to tell my friends about this." Jill was leaving Granada that night but William and I made plans to see each other again. This 20 year-old kid and I met for lunch a week later. I invited my teammate, Sheri, to come along so she could meet this guy. As we ate we learned more about him, his life, his family, his name. And eventually I asked him if he or his family practiced any religion. A lot of his family are buddhists, but he and his parents and siblings don't follow any religion. I told him him that I wasn't sure what their customs are in Hong Kong about giving and receiving gifts, but that I had a gift for him. I told him that he did not have to take my gift, but that I had set it aside for him if he wanted it. It was a little backpack Bible that had been given to me. He seemed shy about it at first, but then thanked me and said "I will read it." Let's pray that God's power is evident every time that William opens that Bible! He returns to Hong Kong today, and I have no doubt that God can do something great through him! The Truth is in his hands and I know that his heart will be pierced if he really does take the time to read it! --------------------------------------------------- Highlight of the conversation: Me: So, William, do you play any sports? William: (chuckle) Does it look like I play any sports? Big laughs :)  I watered some plants today. Not just any plants. They are plants that belong to my spanish friend who lives about a half mile from me. She has gone to visit her mother who lives in northern Spain and will be there for about a month. I will go every couple of days and water them for her. About half of them are cacti, so I am PRETTY sure they can make it with a couple of days in between.
But that's not the point of this blog entry. It's just to say that as I was watering her plants I started thinking about how she has lived in this town for about 30 years. And how I, a foreigner, am watering her plants. Granted, she has another friend who stops by from time to time to check on things, but not someone coming over every couple of days to water her plants. I am happy to do it. I have the time. This is what I'm here for, etc, etc. But I guess I'm just happy that she chose me. Because that means she kind of trusts me. Which is a big deal here in Spain. You see, my friend is an atheist. She believes in some type of salvation through nature and all of that airy stuff. (I almost want to kill her plants and ask her where Mother Nature was when it counted--- I'm KIDDING. Everybody calm down.) I have shared stories from the Bible with her - my teammate Gaby has done the same. She said we are always welcome to share stories. Of course, she listens to the stories and then voices her disagreement. She can be prickly. But one thing is always clear -- she is angry at a god that she does not know. Because if she knew I AM, she would not be able to say certain things about Him that she has said. If she knew our God the Creator, her love of plants and nature would go to a deeper level. So I pray for her as I water her plants. Especially those cacti. Because even a cactus needs water. Isaiah 61:11 "For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations." During my time in the States I made some decisions about the way I want to spend my time here in Spain. The first year I was here my schedule revolved around my studies and then I was not as organized as I would have liked to have been in the off-hours.
So one of the things I decided I wanted to do was to read more. I have always enjoyed reading but I have to be honest: sometimes I get tired of it. But I also realized WHY I get tired of it. I get tired of reading Christiany stuff. It's true. I think it's because it's overwhelming to me. Reading everybody's opinions about stuff. Not always knowing if I should be in agreement or not. Or feeling guilty because reading some of that stuff makes me feel like I'll never have my act together. But I'm over that now. :) But one of my personal goals this year was to read a book each month, christian or non-christian. Mostly for my own sanity and to be able to fill my extra time with something valuable. And here are some of my favorites so far this year. The Frontiersmen This is my mom's fault. She read the book and then wouldn't stop talking about it. ;) So I read it while I was recovering from being in the hospital. And it was good. REALLY good. It is a non-fiction history book. Fascinating history mixed with eye-opening realities of the settlers and indians. For those of you who live in the Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky area -- this is highly recommended. East of Eden I have to be honest with this one. My friend suggested it to me and so I quickly downloaded a free version and read it within two days. It was kind of choppy writing, I thought. So I decided to look up some history about the book and read somewhere that it was a 600 page novel. What? Mine was only 100 pages. Hence the free version and choppy writing. It was some sort of summary. At any rate, it was a GREAT summary. ;) I'm sure the full version is even better. Someday I'll get to it. But since I already know how it ends I am not as enthusiastic to read it. The Insanity of God This book has changed me. I have read books before that make me teary, that make me think, that convict me. But I have never read a book that I have had to put down so that I could cry. I mean really cry. This true story has changed the way I pray. It has brought the Bible to life. This book is a must for any believer. Read it and weep. Last week I helped my teammates host a group of 23 people from one of their supporting churches. Two adults and 21 high schoolers. They were pleasant and fun to be with, helpful and curious.
On the last evening that I helped out, we took them to different towns in the area to pray and hand out evangelical brochures. (Although my teammates and I weren't thrilled about the brochures, we had few options as the original plans for the group fell through.) At any rate, I took a group of 9 kids to a town with me and I explained what they were to do and what time we needed to meet back up, etc. Then I prayed for them and sent them out. It was during the prayer when this happened: I was praying that we would meet people of peace and that, if God willed it, that he would give one of the kids the ability to speak in tongues -- that He would give one of them the supernatural ability to speak spanish clearly to someone who was searching for God. They laughed. They chuckled. Right there during the prayer. The lump in my throat made it hard to get the rest of the prayer out. I nearly cried right then. Not because they laughed at me -- I didn't care about that. It was because of all that it represented. They didn't expect a miracle. (I prayed that because a friend of mine had that very thing happen to him when he led a CIY trip to Mexico one time. A girl in his group didn't speak a lick of spanish and one afternoon the Lord gave her the ability to speak perfect spanish with a group of girls. The next day she was back to not speaking it at all. So I always pray for that.) Back to Spain. I knew right then that we wouldn't be seeing any miracles from Jesus that evening. At least by way of supernatural spanish speaking. There wasn't enough faith. I thought about Mark 6:5-6 "He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. He was amazed at their lack of faith." I hope that youth leaders and our parents are teaching their kids that God is still doing miracles and working supernaturally in lives today. That the Holy Spirit is prepared to take control of situations as soon as we allow Him to do so. Anyway, I was bummed. I was sad that these kids weren't willing to think past their limitations and expect something great from God. I was weakened. But here's the really sad part: I chuckle too. My heart quietly snickers sometimes when I read scripture; my soul whispering "I wish God would still do this stuff", as if He were an obsolete gadget tucked away in an attic, and the updated God doesn't do such outrageous things anymore. The lump in my throat was more because those kids reacted outwardly the same way that I, at times, react inwardly. The truth is, I don't want to live like that. It's tiring. I want my faith to enable God to do all the miracles that He longs to do around me and in me. It's a funner way to live. It makes me smile more. It gives me hope. Something worth dying for. May all of us chucklers, both inward and outward, be encouraged to have greater faith.....faith that expects great things from the only relevant, unchanging, living God. So I took a year off from blogging. Of course, I didn't REALIZE I had taken a year off from blogging until I looked at the date of my last post. At any rate, I will give you some mini overviews about this year and then I have every intention to go back to blogging once a week. I wouldn't mind a little reminder every now and then, just in case I get behind!
I attended Jonthan Training in August of last year, which proved to be a huge motivator and encouragement. Linda left at the end of August, finishing her internship with a bang! She enjoyed her time here and was strengthened in her walk with the Lord. In September I began to study for the DELE exam, which is the official accreditation of the degree of fluency of the Spanish Language, issued and recognized by the Spanish government. I enjoyed having different visitors pass through Spain during the fall season. Former teammates in Venezuela, mostly. In November I took the DELE test, choking back a few tears at the break time and not feeling very confident in a couple of the sections. In December I was able to relax some, spending Christmas with some gals and doing some hiking near my house. In January I was packed out with visitors from Venezuela -- both former teammates as well as some Venezuelan friends. In February I headed back to the States to get a different kind of visa. I also spent time visiting supporting churches, friends, and family. And I learned that I passed my spanish test....probably one of the biggest reliefs of my life! My kidney decided to act up a little in May and then my bladder decided to play along. Real cool, you two. I wasn't amused but was thankful in the end for the extra rest that it gave me before I returned to Spain just two weeks ago. And that's where I am now! Back in Spain, settled in, unjet-lagged, and ready to go. There is plenty to do and I'm happy to be back doing it! And so, to all 4 of you who read this blog, sorry about the year-long delay. Let's just call it a sabbatical. Then at least I'll feel all professorish and smart. I hate high heels. Always have. Always will. Here a few reasons why:
1. They hurt my back. Anyone who has lived with any sort of back pain would agree that getting rid of high heels is a no-brainer. 2. They hurt my feet. I have learned that this is a non-negotiable for me. Why wear something that sends shooting pain up my legs? I like my Chacos just fine. 3. They make me walk funny. And no offense to you faithful tip-toers, but my personal opinion is that everyone walks funny in high heels, no matter how many years you've been practicing. You can give me all sorts of reasons why I should wear them: "they make you look taller, more feminine, fancy, and they make your legs look awesome!" I, Rebekah, am fine with my height, think that high heels are a superficial indicator of femininity, don't have any desire to be fancy, and already have satisfactory legs, thanks to my padre, John "no-high-heels" Hannum. I recently discovered another reason to hate high heels: 4. They are used in Spain as an "open for business" sign for prostitutes. As the sun goes down in Spain, prostitutes will put high heels in the window to indicate that they are on duty and ready to receive clients. This is saddening for various reasons, but mainly as we ponder the reality that, in the Spanish population, there are more prostitutes (over 1%) than Jesus followers (less than 1%). May the Lord give me an opportunity to share His love with one of these high-heeled souls. |
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